Men with recyclable shopping bags

Okay, I'm as "green" as the next person but I have to draw the line at taking recycled bags back to the store to be used again especially by the pairless. Men, we were and to some extent now (in a more modern civilized manner) responsible for plundering and pillaging, NOT carrying wrinkled used paper bags or worse, pretty designed purchased shopping bags back to the store to carry our groceries home. I know the type. You drive a hybrid, wear crocs and are a member of Oprah's book club.

There is a dress somewhere with your name on it.

It's the kind of thing that just makes you wanna walk up to a guy who is a perfect stranger and  say, excuse me, this is for your own good as you take his pile of bags from underneath his less than masculine arm and flail on him with the heavy end! The piece de resistance to the whole recycled shopping bag fiasco, is that little slip they give you to sign in the chance you can win a raffle for being a good green citizen. Really? The only thing you're doing with any certainty is holding up the checkout line while you write your name on that tiny piece of paper with your pinky extended thinking how wonderful you are much to the dismay and ire of real men waiting in line to pay for their steak and kill another tree by getting a fresh bag. You wanna recycle something? Start with your pair!